Emotional Self

Selfsight™ explores and empowers your Self-relationship, the most important and influential relationship you will ever have. Many people are unaware of this relationship, but it is very possible to become attuned to your feelings, thoughts and subsequent choices. With awareness and know-how, it becomes possible to make transformative changes in your life. You can become a staunch advocate for your emotional balance and well-being.

You might call this Self-love or Self-parenting.  Either way, it is Self-advocacy.

Selfsight™ allows you to view your emotional interior, your core emotional needs, your supplies of emotional competence to them, as well as your use of defenses, which are immature substitutes for actual emotional competence.


Emotional Competence is a set of specific skills including insight, self-awareness,  accurate identification of feelings, both reactive and non-reactive, knowing how to use feelings as an emotional compass to direct toward emotional safety and meeting your own emotional needs, empathic connection to self and others and emotional regulation.  Emotional competence is required for emotional balance and well-being.

Defenses are immature substitutes for emotional competence, usually developed in childhood in reaction to unmet emotional needs.  Defenses develop to protect the fragile, developing self when it is threatened by unmet emotional needs, causing emotional pain.  They can become the symptoms of emotional imbalance, the same presenting symptoms that come into my office every day.

Selfsight™ is . . . like having an x-ray of what contributing factors have made you who you are today, helping you to see your Self through an accurate, but compassionate lens.

You will discover hidden truths about what makes you who you are, often hiding in plain sight!  You just need to know where to look. 

Selfsight™ helps you to evaluate what is working for you and what is not.  Un-do, re-do.

Selfsight™ helps you to identify your unmet emotional needs, your triggers, and then the defenses you use to try to buffer, blunt or obscure the resultant emotional pain. Then, you can re-do by becoming emotionally competent using mature coping skills and big picture perspectives. 

Selfsight™ is based on a simple recipe for everyday happiness: 

Emotional Competence is……

Internalized emotional competence is Self-defining, keeping you calm, steady and anchored to your Self and your emotional and moral compasses. Emotional competence directs you to smart solutions to meet your own emotional needs. 

Selfsight™ is guided by principles of goodness and striving to do what is respect-worthy, honorable and just.  Everyday happiness comes from a place of calm, insightful responses to whatever happens and thoughtful, ethical and effective solutions to unmet emotional needs, which cause emotional distress.